Saturday, April 27, 2013

Finisher.

I finished something hard last week.
It was long and sometimes ugly but other times it felt light and beautiful.
{those times of light and beautiful were few, but they carried me through.}
I have a Bachelor's of Science in Nursing.
And earning that degree has been a feat of sheer will over these past few years.
But I have something more. I carry something glowing and shiny inside of myself when I think about it.
The only way to describe it is to tell what happened after I walked to my car that last day of class. 
I felt it building about halfway through class as classmates beautifully summarized their time in nursing school. Listening to the hard stories, the difficulties they had overcome. The lump in my throat...the inevitable tears. The impending breakdown. The Ugly Cry.
I couldn't get to my car fast enough. The tears stung and I distinctly heard myself say to no one but me,
 "I did it. I finished something. I finished it."
I sniffled and collected myself and broke down crying all over again the rest of that night. 
I danced in the kitchen while making dinner. 
Evie and I sat on the couch hands entwined, letting tears drift down our cheeks in joy. 
I hugged my husband and told him what a super hero he's been. 
I collected handmade cards with messages of:
"mom, you R a rocstar!!!" 
and, 
"I luv you, mom! Now you R a NERS!!" 
{kindergarten and first graders make the best congratulatory notes, hands down.}

It's been a season of sacrifice.
Of wondering, WHY did I think this was okay?
Of trusting that God knew exactly the answer to that question.
Of rightfully earning my Starbucks Gold Card.
Of cramming my head full of way too much information about bodily fluids.
Of hilarious study sessions which somehow always ended up in someone making up a rap about asthma medications or hernia repair surgery.
Of falling deeply in love with my new profession.
Of finding myself at the end: a finisher.


{I am so happy to be starting this next part of my life. 
This is where I will be blogging from here on out. 
Talking about life and books and cooking and children and gardens and travels and joy and God and nursing
Because now I can.}

7 comments:

  1. I will just simply say ... I am PROUD of YOU.

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  2. I cried. You have people all over the country and world who are SO PROUD OF YOU. Way to go ... you've earned it ♥

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  3. I am so proud of you Ashley, but more than that, I am happy for you and how proud you are of yourself. You are amazing!

    Jamie

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  4. awesome, can't wait to follow you on this journey now! i also have my bsn and it's such a great and rewarding thing. you are going to love it!

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  5. congrats ashley! i'm so excited for you, you're such an amazing wife & momma! excited for this new chapter.

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  6. So proud of you for doing the hard thing. I can't wait to hear your blogs as you explore many new and many challenging things. I also am proud of Ira for the support he gave and all the love and encouragement. Your kids did not suffer in the making of this nurse.....

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  7. Beautiful! You have a way with words and connecting with people. And I love toast too!

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